Hellcat stimulates her guilty pleasure

Detroit Auto Show review

By Claudette de la Haye

Ralph Giles and his Dodge SRT Charger Hellcat took our reviewer on a wild ride.
Ralph Giles and his Dodge SRT Charger Hellcat took our reviewer on a wild ride.

DETROIT, Michigan – My ride with Ralph Giles, a Canadian and senior VP of design at Chrysler, in the Dodge SRT Charger Hellcat was a rolling thunder on my virtue, reminiscent of Jane Austin’s Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice.

Simply put, a total raging beast under the hood of male social testosterone automotive conquest.

My test drive was strictly passenger side at the North American Auto Show. And it was a guilty pleasure of a throwback up Detroit’s I-75 straightaway.

The experience was engulfed with memoires of my girlish virtues from sweet 17, coupled with vertigo while stopping my heart at the same time. The heated seat added even more to the experience – intensity from zero to insanity.

I just can’t remember which roared louder, me or the damned engine.

There was no G-force or torque shift in the acceleration from 60 to 120 mph (100 to 180 kph) and, I’m not ashamed to say, the power of the engine gave me that exhilarating feeling of being a virgin all over and over and over again in a seamless force of masculine acceleration.

And heavens the pounding in the car – I mean in my chest cavity!

There was nothing to hold onto in the interior for dear life other than this ferociously delicious surge at the point where any woman would want to dig her nails into the flesh of the instigator behind the wheel while begging for unadulterated mercy.

I survived the 40 minutes until my destination and I remember getting out of the car feeling so dislodged, trying to ascend three stories stuttering in shock. I was greeted by my girlfriend who enquired, “Claudette, are you okay?”

I smiled shyly and sat dazed, lustfully moaning.

And so, credit goes to Ralph Giles and his team. I tell you that every fiber of my soul was left in the Hellcat’s roar. And any man who can design a car and leave a 50-year-old woman driven back to her days of being a virgin then God should bless his masterly and well-endowed prowess of car design. And, may the force be with him always.

It’s definitely an upgrade from Ford Motor Company’s Mustang and Dodge’s 2009 Challenger. And, like Mr. Darcy, Giles and his design team definitely know how to conquer the social fabric of womanhood beyond the theatre of the bedroom.

For any man buying this car, you will get more than just virtue on wheels and, fellas, may your conquest with the ladies be as memorable as mine at 17 with my childhood sweetheart.

A total thrill waited to be revisited. And, it pains me to say that Giles knows how to design automobile sensuality insanely on wheels. Or perhaps, I’m just smitten that the driver was also the designer?

Lady Godiva rode into town side-saddle, naked on a single horse. Regardless of how much horsepower you have – unleash your soul.

It’s not how you ride but, ride the ride.

Note to self: Let childhood sweetheart know how you felt about your encounter with him.

So get out there and raise your patriotic duty and arouse the virtuous ire of a woman. And discover that the divinity of Ralph Giles, son of Haitian soil, is truly that of a Super Man.

Truly a Hellcat of a ride.


Claudette de la Haye is executive editor of CFNN, Detroit, MI